Father

fathers day

My name, ‘Deeya’, has always fascinated me. Etymologically, the word has its roots in various languages. But my father named me ‘Deeya’, inspired by the Hindi word ‘Diya’, which means ‘lamp’.

I grew up listening to my school teachers, fondly, referring to me as the ‘lamp of the family’; and I travelled with my family where ever my father’s transfers took us, changing schools and accommodating cultures and traditions.

Once on a long vacation, we happened to be in our family home in Kerala, and my father showed me his world of books and writings. There I came face to face with ‘Deeya’, my father’s pseudonym.

A surprise indeed! My father had never mentioned his joy of writing, except that he enjoyed reading my creative ventures. To help me improve my writing skills, he encouraged reading, bought books, gifted diaries, and advised me to make them my best friends.

Occasionally, he would enquire about my latest diary entry, and I used to read it out to him very reluctantly. Then it had mattered less to me. Gradually, I found myself sharing every single write up and poem I penned; and he was more than happy to view his opinions and mend.

In fact, my first book of poetry materialised due to his quiet work of passing on the poems to the publisher.

Years have passed by. Nothing seems to have changed. Even today we spend hours over the phone (distances hardly matter!), especially on holidays, discussing news, views, and his critical observation of my writings.

Need to mention, he hopes to see me read and understand the depths of Malayalam literature. To begin with, recently he gifted me an English translation of the great legends of Kerala.

Over a period of time, my relationship with my father has matured from a father-daughter one to a guru-shishya (teacher-student) level of understanding. A teacher, who understands, guides and accepts the student as she is.

I often wonder if I have idealised him. However, I am still learning from his philosophy of life. And I have realised that I am truly his “Deeya”. On this Father’s Day, I salute you, my dear acchan (Father in Malayalam).

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

A Lover’s Eye

 

moon2

I waited all night

Tracing the path of the light.

The glow never once failed

And the rinsed clouds hailed.

As an afterthought,

Recollecting the ideas I bought

I looked through lover’s eyes;

The darkness in black did not lie….

He stirred the night into a silver bowl

And washed me deep down the soul;

Feeling the momentary pleasure unwind

I raised my hands to bind,

Conveying the message of a lifetime,

Renewing the promise on full moon night, every time.

Life ‘n Dreams

dreams

In the waking dreams

And the sleeping dreams

I’m torn between

Imagination and aspiration.

Did I realise life

In living dreams

And ghosts of past glorious dreams?

Am left wondering

If life treated me

Or I treated life

In recalling dreams

And cherishing moments of dreams!

I walk with my life

Accepting flavours of life

And I’m living with dreams

Waking to infinite dreams….

Mom’s My World

To My Mother

(Published in Me, My Friend, 2009, Deeya Nayar-Nambiar)

 MOTHER

How I wish I could speak to you mom

It is a phone call from you that has now become a desire

No words to say, no words to convey

My love for you mom.

Life in hostel with friends around

Keeps me going

But the beautiful time we shared together

Discussing sweet nothings

I miss the most

And even more I miss you mom.

The Sundays when the phone rings

I run to the reception desperately hoping it is you

My heart leaps out to say all those small things

That then seem very important

But when I hold the receiver I forget everything mom.

A word with you is now like a dream come true

How to tell you it is your word that makes my week

And then I start asking

Why did I have to grow up to be your big girl mom?

Hmm, all said and done

Nothing will change right now

But how I wish I could speak to you mom

For I am still your little girl at heart when it comes to you

And I just want to say I love you, mom.