A self-help book comes in print. It becomes the best seller. The book shows us the things we know and guides us to follow it. It is a source to help you to lead a better life. Many read and follow the book to be better human beings and to be able to improve their life. But many others turn critics and ponder on as to why it had to sell when there is nothing new in the book.

Agreeing with the critics, when put to think, you would be the first to comment, “The writer has just written all that we know.” But still you do not put it to practice.

You are right when you say you know it all. The only difference is – these are the simple lessons of life you do not take into consideration as necessary. Instead, you love to find fault with others, and read the book with enthusiasm hoping to improve your own life.

You are blind to your imperfection. You do not even take time to think, “Maybe I went wrong somewhere?” Indeed it is human tendency to feel jealous and indulge in self-pity when you miss a great opportunity; or when going gets tough. Yet, often you do not mend your way. You like to complain and hold someone else responsible for your mistakes.

The chapters of life are very simple.

– Love yourself first, before anything else.
If you learn to love you, as who you are, loving others will follow soon. You may be talented, skilled and extremely efficient; but you feel your friend or sister is doing better. In this unwanted competition you fail to see your achievements. You lose out to yourself, giving others an opportunity, to further pull you down.

– I came alone, I will go alone. Others are needed for my existence.
Often you are faced with situations where you are all alone. When you fall sick, you are the only one who can take care of your body. Family and friends act as support systems, which help you to recover. This is just one example. There are many that you face on a day to day basis.
The moment you realise the significance of your existence, you will learn to depend on yourself before looking out for someone to depend on. This will help you to become stronger to face tougher situations.

– Look at the positive side of things.
There are times when, whatever you lay hands on becomes hard to achieve. You refuse to give up, and fight back, because you know that you are gaining in the process. If you stop seeing the glass as half empty, you have miles to go. But always remember to be positive, read, write and spread positivity around. You will feel good and happy too. Even people you come across will be happy to have you around.

– Learn to accept the situations and people as they are.
You will never have an answer for, “Why this happened to me?” You do not have that much time to ponder and brood over it. The best solution then would be to accept it the way it is, and learn to adjust and accommodate yourself to every situation.
For example, you work really hard on your office presentation that could decide your promotion. It is well received and appreciated by your management and co-workers. But when the promotion list is out, your name does not appear in it. You feel miserable, sad and unhappy. You wish not to return to the office anymore. When you do not have a job in hand, instead of creating a scene in public, think and act.
Accept the situation as it is. And continue to be a part of it, till your turn comes – a new job if lucky, otherwise change your outlook and work for the organisation.

– It is easier to change the way you see things than change the situation or people.
You may question “Why only I need to change, when others are not making any attempts?” Simple, you have to live in the situation with the people. Of course, it is easy to teach children the book of life, but once you are in the path of being an adult or adulthood, making attempts to teach is futile.

Self-help is the best help for a successful living. A little change in your attitude with a minor adjustment to the environment, you will find peace of mind and happiness taking the reign of your life.

Published in ezine.com