Category: View Point

Who Gives Birth to Whom?

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mahim “A child gives birth to a mother.” The quote runs below a public work of art on the way along side the western express highway in Mumbai. A prized location, the sculpture of the mother-and-child stands tall, seemingly linking the roads to Mahim, Bandra and Worli-sea link.

It is hard to miss, especially if you are on a religious trip to visit the famed Siddhivinayak temple (Lord Ganesha) at Prabha Devi , St. Michael’s church in Mahim, and the Durgah of Mahimi in Mahim. Each of these places is historically relevant. For instance, while the church is one of the oldest existing Portuguese buildings, the Makhdoom Ali Mahimi’s Durgah is a reminder of the great Sufi saint and scholar who was also the “first commentator of the Holy Quran in India”.

Coming back to the mother-and-child sculpture, I happened to take a sparing look at it once, when stuck at the traffic signal. Appearing to be of a mother holding up her child, the metal sculpture is devoid of any distinct features or facial expressions. Yet, surrounded by the bed of greens, the mother and child cut a happy picture of the nurturer and the nourished.

A few minutes distraction from the traffic snarl, the sculpture and the quote, “A child gives birth to a mother”, kindled my mind. Mother and child – who gives birth to whom? Undoubtedly, each gives birth to the other. Undoubtedly, the mother and child relationship rooting to birth can be correlated to the relationship of a creator and his creativity. Nevertheless, it takes the creativity to give a name to the creator, and a purpose of life.

Wonder, what could have been the mind-set behind its creation and its location? The sculpture of mother-and-child will withstand the years to come. Like the many curious onlookers, I may perceive the duo in a different light, on another occasion, a different day.

Siblings

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Where do all the years of growing up together go? Why siblings become strangers with time? The gulf widens never to be united. They part ways. Relationship? What is it? They ask. Their ego’s decide not to mend their ways; and they die silently, wishing things would have been otherwise.

The next generation, devoted to their parents, hold on to the grudge. They being young, may have attempted or wished to bring a reunion but are reprimanded. Often, “you are a child, and you don’t know anything,” with these convenient words, the parents convince them. Ergo, the children follow their parent’s path. Years go by unhindered. The matters of heart lie uncorrected. The blood ties move into complete strangers.

Their families may never be able to erase the ‘good times of togetherness’ but at the same time may end up not knowing their immediate cousins too well. Somewhere down the line, the third generation may even laugh at the silly matters complicated beyond repair.

The siblings are no more around. Their children have reasons to unite. Some mend the broken relationships. But some others hold on to the reason of “having no wish to hurt the sentiments of their dead parent/s”. Days of beautiful relationships are gone. Whose loss is it?
Wonder, when siblings grow up, why do they not wish to take up hurt feelings and fight it out as they had done in their childhood?
Let their souls rest in peace.

Near, Yet Far

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An acquaintance once mentioned casually, “Trivandrum and Bombay are along the coast. So the places are not really that far.” I had to agree to that statement, after taking a quick look at the map of India.

And then thinking caught me on, “the two cities can be perceived as near” but the perception changes when one decides to travel , for “it is almost a two day travel by train, about 25 hours by road, and around 2 hours by flight!” They are hours apart.

Interestingly, both the cities are state capitals : Trivandrum (Kerala State) and Bombay (Maharashtra Sate). They are cosmopolitan in their outlook, though Trivandrum is still budding; and both these cities have been renamed to Thiruvananthapuram and Mumbai respectively.

However, most of us continue to refer to these cities by their earlier names.

Apparently, each state is unique in its own terms with an array of hills, valleys and coastal connects. They are also uniquely different when it comes to their language, food, customs and traditions. Furthermore, each sub-division within the state has a flavour of its own. For example, the north and south of Kerala is different when it comes to climate, food habits and even language. So are the places within Maharashtra.

It is even more interesting, when we delve a little into History to realize the essence of the two states merged in trade, some Jewish connections, and the familiar Portuguese influence. Of course, the coast has been a source of interest from time immemorial.

However, every Indian state has a rich tradition, a valuable history, strong culture, customs and practices, and fascinating folklore. In spite of having lived in different parts of India, I feel I have not seen her enough to claim “I know her really well”. Then what do I say about a non-Indian who has known the country through maps and writings.

Absolute Freedom, Is It?

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Absolute freedom

Absolute freedom? How often I have heard people mention about their need for absolute freedom. To define it, I quote some of them, “there is no restriction or control and one is free to conduct life her/his way, doing her/his things, and the way s/he wants to do them.” In short, they do not want to be obliged to anyone but be their own masters.

Apparently, “each of us is trapped within our own mind, unable to feel anything but our own feelings and experiences.  It is as if each of us is trapped in a dark room with no windows.” Says a scholarly article.

I recollected the concept of alienation and its repercussions that I had read in detail for an interview I was to conduct once as a  journalist. Also, I remembered the oft quoted line, “man is a social animal”.

To add to the lot, “existentialist author and philosopher Simone de Beauvoir notes that as children we shoulder no responsibility; we live in a ready-made world with ready-made values. As we mature and become acquainted with our freedom we can begin to take matters into our own hands. However, many of us revert back to our childhood ways, trading freedom for security.”       ( http://www.newphilosopher.com)

I wonder how many of us, who have used the term absolute freedom, have given a thought to the usage itself. Referred in a casual manner, most of us may not even understand its real significance.

There are mothers who have told me that they have kept a day of absolute freedom from children and responsibility, husbands who set out on a boy’s day out a week, and men and women who sleep throughout the day on a weekend.

True, it is a feeling we often look forward to, little realising we are still submitting and surrendering ourselves to various factors. Probably, sneaking into the absolute freedom enjoyed by some others, who may be, the means to enjoy our absolute freedom.

When I asked some of my friends and acquaintances if they would like to have their absolute freedom forever, they hesitated. A few days of life debarred from responsibilities and attachments may be a good way of rejuvenating and getting one’s life organised. Forever, indeed nothing is forever!